50 Books That Stayed With Me: 2 of 50
2 of 50
Here’s part two out of fifty of the series, 50 Books That Stayed With Me. Without any further ado, let’s get to it.
2 out of 50: Behave by Robert Sapolsky
At its core, Behave is about the science of us, why we are capable of both breathtaking kindness and horrific violence. It starts with the milliseconds before an action, then pulls back to the hours and days before when hormones begin to influence behavior, and keeps zooming out to childhood, to life in the womb, even to ancestral histories. What Sapolsky does so brilliantly is show how all these layers, biology, neuroanatomy, social conditioning, lived experience, and so much more, stack up. The same behavior can be explained through a surge of testosterone, a hyperactive amygdala, or something that happened years ago in childhood. All of these explanations can be true at once. It is a masterclass in how deeply human behavior resists simple explanations.
Realizing this can be overwhelming, but in the best way possible. It leaves you feeling both awed and a little humbled by just how much is happening beneath the surface, and how much of it lies outside our control. By the end of it, you start to see that we are all just a cocktail of biology, circumstance, and history.
And that realization can shift something. It doesn’t excuse bad behavior, but it adds context. It reminds you that people are complicated. That sometimes the things we struggle with run deeper than what’s visible on the surface. And when you start seeing the layers — the hormones, the childhood, the inherited wiring — it gets harder to jump straight to judgment.
Let me be clear though, this book isn’t an easy read. It’s dense. There’s a lot of science. Oh, and it is HUUUUUGE. Like, physically intimidating if you’re the kind of person who checks page counts before diving in. (Like any rational human.) But it’s worth it. Because once you’re in, it’s endlessly fascinating. Challenging, yes, but also funny, sharp, and weirdly human.
And I would be remiss not to mention just how awesome Sapolsky is. Beyond the book, his Stanford lectures are an absolute treat. Funny, sharp, and wildly informative. If you’re curious but not ready to dive into the book just yet, go watch him talk.
To me, Behave is a sharp and humbling reminder that we should all try to be a little more empathetic, especially when we’re facing the worst in ourselves and others.
Thanks for reading!